Feeling Content

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."

I found this quote on Pinterest, my new addiction, (thanks Brittany) and thought it was quite fitting of my time here.

One of the craziest phenomenon I have witnessed while living here is the cycles of moods and feelings that Peace Corps Volunteers from my group go through. There is an infamous paper Peace Corps handed to us on one of our first days in country called "The Life-Cycle of a Volunteer". I think I have even quoted it in this blog a few times, but essentially the paper is a written and pictorial representation of the way most volunteers feel at any given time. This paper is dead on. Yes, dead on.

I could be one of those crazy physics principals which explains it-- because we observed the paper and understand it, our moods have changed because of it-- but frankly, I doubt it. It just seems that whenever I am feeling a certain way, my fellow 2nd year Environment and Health volunteers are feeling pretty much the exact same way. People who see themselves feeling more negatively than everyone us usually use that as a cue that it might be time for them to re-evaluate their options about living here.

This month is no different. Today, I read two blogs from two friends, both touched on the same point. Then I talked to two friends on the phone, same exact sentiment. We are finally happy here. We finally live here. We are not as anxious to leave or desperate to get out. We finally feel content.

I agree with this sentiment entirely and it's finally a good place to be. Eighteen months in, things are going smoothly. I speak enough of the language, understand enough of the customs/ cultures/ way of life and am less surprised by out-of-the ordinary things. The roller coaster of life here seems to be on one of those flat parts, where we are moving quickly but nothing is changing to suddenly.

I only have about six months left here, I am hoping to leaving mid-April so it's that strange mix of being anxious to leave but not quite ready to go.

Most of my fellow PCV's are applying for schools or looking for jobs. I am included in that bunch. With eight applications and only four more to go, I am on the downhill slope of that as well.

For those of you who have been asking, I will explain my grad/ law school situation a little better. The gist is that for as long as I can remember I have wanted to go to law school. When senior year came around and I should have been applying, I hedged and applied for the Peace Corps. Then when Peace Corps came around, I needed to confront this life-decision again, only this time with a little more perspective.  Frankly, I am grateful I waited. In college I was too near sided, too focused on the present which involved parties, being President and class. I didn't have enough perspective to think long-term. Now, two years later, my life has changed dramatically for the better. I have a better idea of what I want and expect out of life.

Now that I have had the time to come to this epiphany, I have decided that what I should be doing is environmental policy. Whether that be at a local, state or national level I am not sure, but I know it's the right track. I have always loved environmental work and have a great passion for the science. I guess it's what I always thought I should be doing, without, in the past, being able turning the abstract concepts into the tangible.

I am applying to eleven law schools and one graduate program. Both are means to an end. I can do environmental work with either, just two paths leading similar ways. Frankly, I want the graduate program bad, really bad,` but I don't know where life is going to lead and I am just happy to be along for the ride.

Once the applications are submitted, I am just going to cross my fingers and pray someone, anyone accepts me so I can start this next phase of my life. If it doesn't work out, maybe it wasn't supposed to and I can do something else. Things work out the way they are supposed to.

I hope this clears up any confusion and believe me, you will be the first to know if/ when anyone accepts me, so don't worry about that.

In other news, my work project is coming along great. I am currently in the process of writing and submitting my proposal for funding to build the water tower. As it turns out, it is larger and more expensive than we originally thought so we are partnering with other NGO's (non-governmental organizations) to get the rest of the funding. The tower should start construction the middle of November, right after Eid El-Kebir (the biggest Islamic holiday). I am excited.

Alright well I am off to make some chickpea burgers, that is if the chickpeas ever finish cooking. Bye for now.

Oh yeah, only 2 ish months until Danielle and Claire get here and we go to Rome. My ticket is bought and I can't wait. I literally can't wait.