Moving Out.

It's official, I have moved out of Anezi. My host family came early morning on Saturday and collected all of my things and as difficult as it was, I had to say good bye for one last time. 

A few days at Hannah's, now a day in Agadir and then off to Rabat. This crazy journey is coming to an end.

All of my stuff in the alley way outside of my house.

My host mother and host sister outside of my house.

I really was sad to say goodbye to my host mother.

All of my stuff, going back to Ait Erkha.

Packing

My entire existence in Morocco fits into one green suitcase.

Terrifyied. Sad. Anxious. Excited. Nervous. Emotional.

Unstable.

Leaving Anezi tomorrow, saying goodbye to everyone I know and love here. Morocco has been good to me. Anezi has been good to me. Ait Erkha has been really good to me. I am sad to see it all go so soon.

Five Things to Take/ Five Things to Leave

My dear friend Jancy suggested making a list like this might be a good way to hash out some of the insanity that is currently occupying my brain. Here is what I came up with.

To Take:
1. Patience, empathy and my newfound cultural appreciation
2. My new healthy livestyle and eating habits
3. Frugality and living simply
4. Time for self-reflection
5. Appreciation for even the smallest successes

To Leave:
1. Not fun and difficult to pronounce Tashlheet/ Arabic words
2. The constant and relenting dirt and dust that coats everything
3. Looking like a local and not showering
4. Loneliness and boredom
5. All the negative feelings I have about Moroccan men and harassment

Keys.

Twenty-six months ago I rid myself of my keys. I sold my car to my parents, returned my house key and was suddenly keyless. It was liberating.

Now, 750 days later, I am keyless again. My landlord came by, collected all of my keys and with it, my responsibilities.

For the next few weeks I relish in the freedom that exists from being keyless. I no longer have to worry about loosing them. I no longer have the responsibility attached to them. Freedom.

Useful things I learned in the Peace Corps

1. How to light a lighter
2. How to bathe in a bucket
3. How to use a squatty potty
4. How to entertain myself for hours on end, with just my thoughts
5. How to block everyone/everything around you out when walking/ riding a bus
6. How to sleep through the call to prayer blasting over the loud speaker
7. How to wash my clothes in a sink with only shampoo
8. How to pack for weeks on end in a small backpack
9. How important the internet/ phone reception is to my mental sanity
10. How to buy everything you need to live in weekly increments
11. How to communicate with little to no language at all
12. How to wear many layers of clothes in the African heat
13. How to sit in the back of a cab with three other people
14. How to travel for hours on end, patiently
15. How to eat seasonally and appreciate not having to
16. How important trips to a real grocery store are
17. How to survive the worst stomach parasites imaginable
18. How to comfortably sleep on the floor, any floor
19. How to correctly apply bug spray to prevent getting eaten alive at night
20. How to be patient
21. How to be empathetic and understanding to cultures completely opposite of my own
22. How important being able to communicate daily/ weekly with family and friends is
23. How gratifying communicating in a new language is
24. How the smallest gestures can mean the most to someone
25. How much better familiar food can make you feel
26. What new clothes can do for your self esteem
27. How much value lies in your own familiar culture
28. How hard it is to adapt to a new culture
29. How terrible and contagious negative group moral is
30. How important persistence and diligence is in getting work done
31. How to self-motivate
32. How much I love reading and studying
33. How to not get dehydrated in the desert
34. How to not fear bugs
35. How much work kids will do for candy
36. How women all over the world just want a venue to get together and chat
37. How to earn the respect of people who have a lot of pre-conceived notions about you already
38. How to live simply, with little possessions
39. How to value the few things I have
40. The value of new and different things/ ideas
41. How much better American music is than Tashlheet music
42. How important insulation is in keeping us happy
43. How angry being cold makes me
44. How important daily showering is for my mental sanity
45. How hard multi-tasking is in multiple languages
46. How much easier it is to visit people when you can sleep in your own bed at the end of the night
47. How to live and travel with basically no money
48. How to cook from the most basic ingredients imaginable
49. How much fun traveling is
50. How to take time to focus on that sense of self and how much better that feels

A Few "Last" Visits

For the better part of the last two years, I have been an active participant in the "I will come back later" game. Every time I visited a city, a souk (market) or some place cool, I was like, "I don't need to buy that now because I can always come back later and get it." The reality is that I have finally come to the point where I won't be coming back. With less than two weeks left in country, I have a lot of shopping to do.

This past weekend I decided I wanted to do a final tour of my favorite city, Essaouira. I was going to get a massage, buy a leather bag and eat some delicious meals with my Essa crew. After spending a full day in Essa, I was convinced to head to Marrakech for one last final night on the crazy Jemma El-Fnna (and to buy a leather bag). After nearly 4 hours on a crappy bus, I arrived in Marrakech. It was just as crazy as always but I got an opportunity to show some Fullbright students, visit from Spain and Jordan, around the square. It is always more fun to see Morocco through someone else's eyes.

I got lots of cool souvenirs, so much so that I actually ran out of money and had to head back to Anezi. I am excited that my bag is filling up with cool things to remember Morocco by!

Only a few more days left in site and more posts to come about this crazy "closing service" experience.

Nina buying her weekly veggies in Essaouria!

Adam and Dianna eating at Green Wok in Essa.

We had a lot of fun at Green Wok with the nice owner and his cute sweaters.

I love this Essa bread and oil. Yummy.

The blue and white pottery made in Fez but sold in Marrakech. I may have broken some of these plates...

The Fullbright friends I made, Sam and Hannah, who I introduced to Harira and their lives have forever been changed for the better.

Awesome Moroccan shoes.

I love the markets at night.

My Road

I realized on my run yesterday that I only have four more days left to run this road which has meant to so much to me. It is where I have gotten out my frustrations, worked through my anxieties and even lost a few pounds. I love this road, the view and all of the mental clarity it has brought me. I am sincerely going to miss it!

Possible.

I was surfing Pinterest, attempting to get my mind off of the constant anxiety I am feeling these days, and I found a quote that I found quite fitting.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." -Nelson Mandela

My service seemed impossible right from the start. I never thought I would get through that plane ride to Philadelphia, or that first night with my host family during training, or the first year, or the first real challenge I faced, but the truth is that I did. I have been here over two years, and I survived and thrived. I never thought it would happen.

Some volunteers say that they never considered early-terminating, I was not one of those volunteers. I thought about it daily for a few months and staying seemed impossible. It wasn't. I did.

The truth and realization is that I made it and I did it. I completed my Peace Corps service and I am quite proud of the person that came out the other end.

I only have 15 days left in Anezi.

Dental Work in Morocco

A major component of our Close of Service conference was a medical check-out. We have spent two years drinking weird water (I once found a fish living in my drinking-water tank), eating less-than-clean food and living in an unbelievably stressful environment, making our medical 'checking-out' important, really important.

My medical clearance went well, and aside from some possibly life-long parasite friends, I am in good shape. Actually, I am in better shape than when I left, at least physically. My mental state is an entirely different can of worms!

My dental clearance was not as rosy as my medical check-out was. I have always had a lot of dental problems. Most can be associated to my formerly high sugar diet, my past excessive diet-soda drinking and my current lack of flossing. Some are thanks to my damaged dental gene pool. Either way, my first year in Morocco I was cavity free. I was stoked.

This year when I went to the dentist, I expected the same stellar report-card; but alas, it did not come. I had two cavities, one small and one large. The lucky thing for me was that since my dental appointment wasn't until Friday, I got to spend the weekend in Rabat on Peace Corps' dime, and meet Hillary Clinton. Monday and Tuesday of last week I had my cavities filled and all was good.

By Friday morning, I couldn't think of doing anything but crying because of how much pain I was in. The sad and inevitable truth was that I needed a root canal.

I trudged, unwillingly, back to Rabat on Sunday to get my root canal Monday morning. While the entire experience wasn't too bad (thanks to the excessive novocaine), I would not desire to repeat it anytime soon. Having tiny needles drilled in and out of the root of my tooth was not that enjoyable and the sound of metal on my tooth drove me wacky.

The one saving grace to the entire experience was that I got to see my actual tooth nerve. I have never seen a tooth nerve, and before Monday I was only vaguely aware that my teeth even had nerves. After using this really long and scary screw-looking drill, the dentist pulled out this long stringy thing from my tooth. It was my nerve.

I could never cut it as a doctor or a nurse, even a dentist. I can't handle the "eww" factor of many medical things but I think I could cut it as a medical examiner. I think the human body is fascinating and the more cool parts I get to see in real-life the better.

The nerve is the long pinkish string-like thing on the lid of the cup.

That's the Dentist holding my nerve with his tools.

Some of you may be grossed out by the photo and for that I am sorry. I was fascinated. The dentist told me I am the first person ever to request a photo. Success.

Meeting Hillary!

I spent the second to last week in February in Rabat with my fellow stage-mates in our close of service conference. Towards the end of the week, rumors started buzzing that Hillary Clinton was coming to Morocco and that some PCVs might even get to attend the event. After a very short sign up time, it was confirmed that about 60 of us would get to attend the event. Woo hoo.

On Sunday February 26th, we got dressed up and headed to the Embassy to hear Hillary speak. She was on her way back to the states after some meetings in North Africa (Algeria, Tunisia, ect) and stopped by Morocco to break ground on the new (and NEEDED) embassy complex. We were just lucky enough to be around and get invited. The crowd was small and it was extremely easy to see and understand her!

After a few hours of waiting, Hillary came and delivered a speech on the long standing unity between Morocco and the United States. Morocco was the very first country to recognize the United States, before we had even won the Revolutionary War in 1777. The speech was great, there were a few shout-outs to the Peace Corps and its work in Morocco, and even a group photo with some Moroccan and American kids who's parents work for the US Embassy and Peace Corps.

I was lucky enough to have moved to the front of the crowd just in time for her to walk the perimeter and shake my hand. It was really cool.

We spent the rest of the day relishing in the 'meeting Hillary' glow. It was a really cool experience and one I feel lucky to have had. 

Jancy, Scott and myself waiting to see Hillary.

Hannah came all the way up from the Souss to see Hillary.

Ambassador Kaplan, his wife and Hillary at the US Embassy in Morocco.

Luis and I waiting for Hillary inside the Embassy compound.

Our medical gal, Hanane and her adorable family!

Hillary walking around the crowd shaking hands.

Jancy, Sami and Nina with their 'meeting Hillary' afterglow.

Two Years In.

Yesterday marked my two-year anniversary in Morocco. Yes, two-whole-years.

On March 3rd, 2010, 70-ish of us Americans arrived in Morocco, naive and unsure of what the adventure had in store for us. I was a scared mess. Crying and shaking, the man next to me on my flight to Philadelphia moved.

Now, two years later, I am confident and capable of my skills in Morocco but I am scared to start the transition back.

It has been a long and difficult but extremely rewarding two years. I have learned a lot, experienced a lot and been through some of the most challenging times in my life. I am grateful to have had the chance to do that.

With my Close-of-Service date only one month away (April 4th), I am beginning to feel the tangible realization that this journey is finally coming to a close. After years of "going home" being an abstract concept, it is finally a real thing. I have a date and a time where I will land back in the country I love, to the food I enjoy and the people I want to be around. I couldn't be more excited, or be freaking out more!

See you all April 5th at 2:10pm.